TSA implements controversial new screening method

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Obama schools UConn in HORSE

Obama shows off his skills. Look out...President Ahmadinejad.


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TWC Roundup 1 - Social Networking

TOPIC: Google has created profile pages, Facebook is filling up more every day, and then there's Twitter. Is social networking helping or just becoming oversaturated? What's the most annoying behaviors people have online?

This Week's Van Buren Boys

Stephanie - Washington D.C. mining industry fundraiser
Stephanie has lived in DC for several years now. She is a young Republican and represents the future of her party. When not working hard, she enjoys supporting mascot-like wildlife.

Dave - Philadelphia sports columnist
Dave has won numerous national awards for his craft, which he supports no matter what happens to the industry. He is a Penn graduate and loves his beshert very much (pictured here).


Ben - international spy
Ben spent several years in CT not far from yours truly. He loves the Beatles, Reagan and the Yankees. Little is known about his past.





Brett - Philadelphia-based venture capitalist
Brett has spent seven years in venture capital, primarily focused on early stage tech companies. He is also a Penn graduate and as such, has detailed knowledge of things our other panelists can only hope to comprehend. He resides in Philadelphia with his wife, dog and love of bagels.


Stephanie

You know, I have to admit, when the whole Facebook phenomenon started, I was really excited about it. It was a brand new idea in the world of social networking that seemed to be created specifically for those of us in the "Millenials" generation...and it was. I'd be lying if I said I didn't spend 8 hours of my first day as a member of "the Book" searching for anyone and everyone I knew and, of course, for the best picture of myself I could find.

It was a great way to be distracted as a sophomore in college from writing papers, studying for tests, and anything else I was supposed to be doing to better my education... until I realized how utterly creepy the website was. It's stalking! I started feeling like a stalker, thank God I learned how to use all those damn privacy settings. The only one I wish they had created was a AUTO-DECLINE for the times people were just trying to get as many people with the same last name as them as friends... seriously guys?

Anyway, over the past couple of years, I've learned that Facebook isn't such a bad thing if you use it for the right reasons and set up your page in a safe way. My job depends on social networking and with the ever developing privacy settings, I can use this site for work and to keep in touch with people I otherwise wouldn't, so I don't TOTALLY bash Faceook... but honestly, I don't need to hear that your favorite underwear still has the days of the week on it in 25 Random Things about you.

Now for these other sites... I'm not even going to touch MySpace... seriously, I'd have to get tested... and the other big one...Twitter. I was told that this "Twitter" phenomenon was the next big thing for fundraising (which is what I do) so I started an account. Now, maybe it's just because I can't use Twitter for fundraising yet (it's an association thing...) but I don't have the attention span to be constantly informing people (in 140 characters or less mind you) what I'm doing. Do they really care? And why do I want people knowing what I'm doing every second of my day anyway? In this mind set, I tried to deactivate my account... THEY WON'T LET ME! I'm roped in. They suckered me into it, and now there's no way out... I feel like a Cy Young Award winning pitcher in the Steinbrenner office...

Anyways, I get the whole idea of the social networking thing. I know I bashed a little, but I think when used in the right way, Facebook can be a great thing, Twitter... not so much. For God's sake it sounds like something women do in their spare time anyways... and yes fellas, we do... and if one of us tells you otherwise... they're lying.

Dave

Here are my thoughs while the lone girl of the Van Buren boys is twittering herself. Contest, anyone?

Facebook is definitely cool. It's a good way to keep up with friends you'd probably never keep up with, while finding pictures of yourself you'd never want to see. But yes, like everything else, there are annoying parts. The most annoying part: that the old people have taken over. I mean, come on. It's like we were the original explorers who ventured to California, discovered the gold, enjoyed our riches... only to watch as our fathers followed us there five years later and made us share our fortune with them.

Invariably, it's the old people, along with a few other undesirables, who are always posting unnecessary status updates about their five favorite athletes whose last names begin with S and have more than three children out of wedlock. But those updates are nothing compared to the ex-girlfriend of an old friend writing things like "I hate everything about my life" 37 seconds after writing "Today, I am going to the gym to feel better about myself!" ... or the random girl you think you might have gone on one J-date with writing how she wants to be more like Tina Fey.

I'm telling you, for every important post about a good friend's new job, there are about 1,000 posts that make you want to make you smash your brain against the side of your Desktop.

As for the other ones, gmail and gchat changed my life for the better; Myspace was OK for a while until Veronica Bigboob and her friends kept messaging me but didn't mean it; and with Twitter, I won't pass judgement since I've never used it. But it does seem like oversaturation, considering Facebook accomplishes the same function with other better features. But I might be able to be swayed by a Twitter addict (not THAT kind of Twitter addict, Stephanie.)

One last thing: I totally agree with Stephanie's comment about meeting someone on Facebook because they have the same last name. How ridiculous! (Shut up, Brett.)

Ben

If there were two great things about Facebook it was the ability to look at hot girls' pictures and being friends with people who were in college and only college. Both are gone. I think Facebook went downhill once it opened itself up to the world and granted people the ability to choose who looks at their pictures (I mean, the nerve!). Maybe I didn’t have a problem with people over 18 having it but I think on the inside I’m an elitist and wanted a social network with college-educated people. It felt like an exclusive club and it was. Once my 14-year-old neighbor and her 84-year-old grandmother poked me on Facebook, it got weird. Now that I’m a few years out of college, Facebook has lost most of its appeal (aka reminders of last nights party). My desire or need to post on peoples walls has dropped and aside from party invites I really have no use for it.

I will say that it does bring people together, especially for the older generation. I know that many in my parents' generation have reconnected with friends who they haven't talked with since high school - but instead of putting up pictures of partying they put up pictures of their recent trip to Vermont to go antiquing.

Twitter I have, but I don’t fully understand why A) I have it and B) its here. It’s a status website. There are a few situations I see use for; being at a concert and updating setlists, sports updates, being held in a foreign country (Texas) against your will, or cracking jokes. It has its moments, but I try to stick to people who wont write about their day and provide me entertainment. If you can make me laugh then you got me 30 seconds closer to the end of the day. I maintain that it's worthless, yet i just checked to see if there were updates.

Brett

Some thoughts while waiting for this guy to come put me out of my Devils-related misery. I apologize if I'm babbling, but if you want to know why, read this and then this .

Anyway, by way of background, I have been on Facebook since 2004 and have seen it evolve from being on just a few college campuses and requiring a .edu email address to its current incarnation as a place to find embarrassing elementary school class pictures of my father. In between, I have been poked, had sheep thrown at me, nearly left the site under a deluge of unwanted app invitations and sported a profile picture of myself in a giant purple sombrero. I have come to realize that it is difficult to assess the impact of Facebook because it is a moving target. The site seems to reinvent itself every few months, as apps phase in and out, newsfeeds are introduced and people continue to argue over what the hell a poke means. At the moment, the two biggest draws to the site seem to be photos and status updates.

Ben, I'm guessing I'm a couple of years older than you, because I am starting to see the other side of the "looking at hot girls on Facebook" phenomenon. At some point, you are innocently looking at pictures of girls you used to know (OK, used to date) and suddenly, where you expect to see their picture, you come face to face with a sonogram. Yep, my exes are becoming mommies, and Facebook is helpfully pointing this out with status updates, in utero photography, gifts of pretend rattles and comments on all of the above.

Aside from reinforcing that: a) I am old, and b) fetuses (feti?) are creepy-looking, this points to what I see as the biggest problem on Facebook, Twitter and most other social sites - oversharing. It's wonderful that you brush your teeth every day. I'm sure your dentist is very proud. I just don't need to see a status update telling me about it. Every day, we are inundated with the mundane details of everyone else's life that we didn't previously know specifically because we didn't care enough to ask. That doesn't even begin to cover people who post their most embarrassing exploits for all the world to see. At some point, these things might come back to haunt you.

Don't get me wrong, there are a lot of great things about these sites. I have reconnected with old friends through Facebook, found a ton of interesting links on Twitter and have spent considerable thought trying to find a redeeming quality for Myspace. I am just not sure where the "line" is between what we do and don't need to know, whether we're talking about 140 characters or more.

Evan

First off, I would like to thank the inaugural class of the Van Buren Boys. You did not disappoint, and any conversation that included the "contest," sports misery and fetusi is surely a sign of good things to come.

I have been a big Facebook addict for awhile. I never got into MySpace - while it seemed cool and original to be able to edit HTML on the page, this often led to tragic results (I think I once had a seizure from glitter and sparkles on someone's page, and it wasn't even ESPN).

The problem with Facebook is that it tried to copy Twitter by making everyone's status more prominent on the page. While everyone knows of a few friends that consistently make you laugh, the large majority involve a list of people's daily activities and whatever is making them sad.

Don't get me wrong - being able to reach people like this is useful, and a big way this site gets traffic. That said, I have some helpful notes:

1. If we live in different states, do not invite me to your events. While you may think its easier to just invite all of your friends, I will be racked with guilt for the next week while I sit home. I'm Jewish.
2. There are very few useful Facebook apps out there. I am obsessed with Mafia Wars, but other than that, if I wanted to play your game, I would join it. Given the world we live in now, when Facebook says I was attacked by pirates, it's entirely possible that it's real. I don't need that kind of stress.
   
3. If you are truly upset at your ex girlfriend/boyfriend/circus instructor, either tell them to their face, or deal with your pain silently. When I see "B*tches should know when to shut their mouths...UGH whatever" on your wall, it makes me either want to hit you or get you a trashy reality show on VH1, likely involving a former member of Poison.
   

Of course there are other tips and tricks for each service, but the bottom line is that these services, however annoying, are a good way to keep in touch.

Thanks to our panel for participating and stay tuned next week for another installment of Three Word Chant Roundtables!
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Site News - Wednesday roundtables

In addition to providing its readers with blinding insight and topical humor, Three Word Chant was started to cut through the yelling that comes from both sides of the aisle online. Rather than just endlessly repeating talking points (Yes We Can!, Drill Baby Drill!), this humble columnist thought there could be a better way - informed debate among people with varying opinions but similar decency and wit.

To that end, we have formed a panel of experts friends hooligans to comment on the events of the day. Each week, I will choose a topic and select 5 panel members (from the tens of available panelists) to comment, discuss and pontificate on the issue. The results will be posted every Wednesday for your reading enjoyment.

Credit and thanks to Stephanie, an original supporter of Three Word Chant, for naming the panel. Members shall henceforth be known as the Van Buren Boys, the perfect name for a group of lowlifes with highbrow interests. I award her no points, and may God have mercy on her soul.

Our topics can range from the serious to the absurd, but will hopefully always be entertaining. If you are interested in joining the panel, just email me at threewordchant.blog@gmail.com.
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Arlen Specter just got all (D-PA)

Several sources are reporting Senator Arlen Specter (R-PA) is switching to the Democratic Party.

Assuming Al Franken prevails in his ongoing court battle, which appears likely, this would give the Dems a veto-proof majority, ensuring that Obama will not have to use the reconciliation procedure for healthcare, and there will be tax increases and lesbian marriages for all. Or something like that. Big day for Obama.

UPDATE: Specter's statement can be found here.
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ESPN.com attacked by unicorns

A (probably fired) web designer and 80's fan gave word that behind the scenes, ESPN.com is actually run by the Care Bears.

Although it has been taken down from the main page, go to this Google cache and type in the most famous password in history (up, up, down, down, left, right, left right, B, A, enter). Then hit any keys and enjoy freak out.
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Swine flu news you can use

If you're reading this, you're one of the few people left who doesn't have swine flu. This is because you either:

1) Avoid Mexico
2) Do not attend St. Francis Preparatory
3) Avoid pork/attract Jews (see ironic photo to the left)

The only place that his been hit worse than Mexico is the media, which seems to be unable to report on anything else. Drudge is having a field day and CNN will likely have an iReporter on this in no time.

As per the laws of the internet, despite this being a tragedy, this hysteria has led to several swine flu jokes:

• "Will there be a mass outbreak of Human/Avian Swine flu? When pigs fly."
• "The only known cure for Swine Flu has been found to be the liberal application of oinkment."

I apologize for that last one. In other smiting news, Mexico City has also suffered an earthquake, further challenging the city's residents.

My Jewish brethren, clever as always, have determined that the best way to avoid this disease is to not speak of it. Israel has decided to call this "Mexican flu" since ultra-religious leaders felt that even pronouncing pork would upset someone.

In honor of this cunning defense, below is a clip from Jimmy Kimmel regarding the Jets' response to the scheduling conflict with the Jewish holidays, which this blog covered.




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Elderly folk to take over the world

In Pampano Beach on Sunday, a 70-year-old man drowned after saving two young children. Charles Schulze carried the two nearly to shore, only to not make it himself. Local residents are calling him a hero.

In Allentown, PA, 72-year-old Fred Glass is interviewed about his decades of weightlifting. Glass won an award as recently as last year, when he squatted 400 pounds in competition.

The moral of the story? Don't piss off your grandparents.
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Bill Nye the Atheist Guy

A few blogs recently picked up on an old Waco Tribune article about Bill Nye the Science Guy. When speaking in Waco, he had the audacity to say that the moon was a "lesser light" and reflected the Sun. Several angry Waco residents stormed out of the room saying, "We believe in God."

This reporter believes that clearly God would not want His light reflecting off His moon and commends the residents of Waco for indicating as much.
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This post is not about misleading headlines

Today, Real Clear Politics breathlessly reported that Biden is less popular than Cheney. Is.

The only issue is that they are comparing both of them at the beginning of their term. This is a perfectly reasonable comparison, of course, as it would speak to how they got elected and what people think so far.

The only minor problem is that the headline attempts to make comparisons to the two men in general. Today. You would think a right-leaning publication would be aware of the consequences of parsing the word "is."

For what it's worth, Cheney left office with:
1) An failed pardon attempt for Scooter Libby
2) A man-sized secret safe
3) A 13% approval rating

Biden currently has:
1) Arguably no control over what he says
2) No idea how to spell the word "jobs"
3) A 51% apprvoal rating

That said, it worked, because I did click on their post. Tricky bastards.
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Disney templates fail

This clip from YouTube user WETR0X (ed. note - ?) shows that Wilt Disney, when not associating with questionable anti-Semites, didn't spend a ton on animation. Numerous Disney clips recycle the same animation and just make them look different.

Is this Disney post supposed to make up for the last post on vaginal teeth? One can never tell.


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Historical sex myths

Vaginas with teeth - and other sexual myths. Some hard hitting reporting going on at MSNBC today.

Bonus quote: “Doctors thought all sewing machines were bad for women,” Maines explained. “They thought the women would turn into lesbians.”
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Recently revealed interviews with famous inventors

In her latest New York Times column, Maureen Dowd had this to say in an interview with the Twitter co-founders: "I would rather be tied up to stakes in the Kalahari Desert, have honey poured over me and red ants eat out my eyes than open a Twitter account. Is there anything you can say to change my mind?"

Of course, we know Dowd was trying to be achingly creative, rather than horribly, horribly offensive (or maybe she was trying to be both). But as it turns out, the Times columnist has asked similar, equally offensive questions to other prominent inventors in the past. A colleague and I dug up some old interviews by way of comparison (don't try to look them up yourself - you're not as good at Google as us):

Dowd interviewing Thomas Edison (inventor of the light bulb): "I would rather burn my face with something scaldingly hot than ever use this thing called a light bulb. Is there anything you can say to change my mind -- or did I just change my own mind?"

Dowd interviewing Christopher Columbus (15th-century explorer): "I would rather be scalped and violated by the scary dude from Last of the Mohicans than ever live in a land that kills Indians and uses Twitter. Is there anything you can say to change my mind?"

Dowd interviewing the Wright brothers (inventors of the airplane): "I would rather jump from the top of Everest without a parachute while a pigeon craps on my face the entire way down than ride in your flying demon bus. Is there anything you can say to change my mind?"

Dowd interviewing Jesus of Nazareth (Patriarch of Christianity and founder of wafer and wine industries): "I would rather be stripped, flogged, mocked and crucified than ever worship you. Is there anything you can do to change my mind - other than being stripped, flogged, mocked and crucified?"

Dowd interviewing Theodor Herzl (father of Zionism): "I would rather support a country called "Dowd Town" where witty, red-haired columnists who are "five drinks into the night" are deported to a land of constant strife and falafel. Is there anything you can say to change my mind?"

Dowd interviewing James Naismith (inventor of basketball): "I would rather play with George Muresan's balls (as in actual testicles) than ever touch a real basketball. Is there anything you can say to change my mind?"

Dowd interviewing Alexander Graham Bell (inventor of the telephone): "I would rather play with an iPhone App that only allows me to speed dial Vice and Hillary Clinton than put stress on my fingers by using a stupid rotary phone. Is there anything you can say to change my mind?"

Dowd interviewing Dean Kamen (inventor of the Segway): "I would rather drive a 1973
rusted Ford Pinto with one flat tire that bursts into flames while driving in downtown Washington DC than ride your nerd-loving vertical scooter for 5 minutes. Is there anything you can say to change my mind?"

Dowd interviewing Al Gore (inventor of the Internet): "I would rather read the dictionary while polishing my 1981 Encyclopedia Brittanica collection in the Library at Alexandria than be any part of a global network of computers that enables users to share information and log on to $%%# Twitter (%#%# twitter.com). Is there anything you can say to change my mind?"
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René Magritte has invaded Target

This sign from Target, despite its not being a sign. I know one artist who would be proud.

(h/t Consumerist)
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Torturing America

Torture has reentered the public debate in light of the Obama administration's recent declassification of several CIA memos (a good summary of the timeline of events can be found here).

In releasing the memos, Obama was trying to disavow torture as a technique, but only served to reignite the debate. Former Vice President/bunker-dweller Dick Cheney has claimed that the full versions of these memos, and others, actually to justified the use of harsh interrogations - that is, they showed that waterboarding etc. produced specific and actionable intelligence. The next day, Admiral Dennis Blair, the National Intelligence Director, said as much an an internal memo shown to the press.

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs summed this debate up well:

“That policy disagreement is whether or not you can uphold the values in which this country was founded at the same time that you protect the citizens that live in that country.”

Like with many controversial issues (abortion, American Idol) there are two legitimate sides to this argument - we should never torture under any circumstances, as it doesn't actually work and causes irreparable harm to U.S. interests, OR torture is justified in extreme cases in order to protect the country.

The scenario often used to support the use of torture is a 24-like ticking time bomb where the country must do whatever it takes to stop an imminent threat. "Shouldn't," supporters argue, "we do anything we can to save American lives?"

This is a disingenuous argument.

I would argue that a strong case for using "especially" harsh methods, torture, whatever you want to call it, would involve the following:

1. A high-value detainee that possesses valuable information
2. This information is not speculative, but highly actionable
3. This information cannot be obtained any other way

Herr Cheney is making this very argument. But how do you explain the following:

• First, the Bush Administration had argued for years that the U.S. did not torture. Then, once waterboarding was revealed, he said that torture was necessary to protect America
• Memos allegedly exist that (i) are able to be declassified, (ii) demonstrate restrained and focused uses of harsh interrogation, and (iii) led to actionable intelligence. If such memos exist, why did Cheney first request their release this March? Why did he first make that request public now? Why were these memos not hung from the South Lawn to completely validate the entire GWOT strategy?
• If waterboarding etc. are not torture, and these are perfectly acceptable methods for Al Qaeda terrorists, why restrict their use for only high-value targets? Why vigorously announce how "the United States doesn't torture people?"

There's something to be said for diligent analysis. If seasoned operatives from all branches of the military sat down, researched 50 years of interrogations (both U.S. and foreign) and determined that this was a repugnant but necessary tool, then so be it. Furthermore, if its use needed to remain secret for national security purposes, that would make sense too. Should it be revealed, they could then vigorously defend its use on the principles outlined above.

However, when the actual process involved several cabinet officials hurriedly approving this, with no research, they lose the moral high ground. These procedures were based on Cold War-era tactics that could produce false confessions:

In December 2001, Lt. Col. Daniel J. Baumgartner of the Air Force, who oversaw SERE training, cautioned in one memo that physical pressure was “less reliable” than other interrogation methods, could backfire by increasing a prisoner’s resistance and would have an “intolerable public and political backlash when discovered.” But his memo went to the Defense Department, not the C.I.A.

Our country was founded on the rule of law. America fought for freedom as to not be at the whim of a regent, but a predictable set of legal and ethical guidelines. If Bush had strictly followed the Geneva Convention, and were faced with a "ticking time bomb" scenario, and it became public, surely one could logically defend their actions. However, to torture as a matter of policy, and to cover up our actions so much as to invite skepticism, suggests that this is not a necessary tactic, but the development of a far-reaching interpretation of executive authority.

Furthermore, should this scenario ever actually happen, I would be okay with the CIA using whatever means necessary to prevent the deaths of innocents. In other words, in some cases it may be okay to cross moral lines to achieve a utilitarian outcome. Yet, when the proposed methods are not only arguably ineffective, but actually lead to false confessions, this only wastes time on the ticking time bomb's clock.

It's not worth destroying everything the country stands for in the name of panic.
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Morning News Roundup

• The NY Times dutifully reports on the 5 Pulitzer Prizes won by the NY Times - NY Times
• Bernie Madoff made off with money. Phil Markoff offed his marks. Hugh Jackman smiles nervously. - NY Daily News
• Twitter, WordPress execs in Iraq to help country use new media. OMG al-qda - wat r u up 2? - CNN
  
• China wants people to change their last names to make them more conformist. Resistance is futile - NY Times
• Chicago mayor Richard Daley declares Thursday "Talk Like Shakespeare Day." May I haveth a bribe, please? - CNN
  
• This is the guy that decides which letters to Obama actually reach his desk - NY Times
• The 1st 7th Annual Grilled Cheese Competition is underway - NBC Los Angeles
• Actor from The Sandlot arrested for domestic violence - Film Drunk
  

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13-year-old Seth Rogen doing standup

BuzzFeed dug up video of Seth Rogen doing standup right around his Bar Mitzvah years. If your only memory of 1996 is OJ's civil trial, this is worth a look.

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The Yin and Yang of Canada

On Saturday, the WSJ reported that Canada, after a lengthy internal battle, automatically restored Canadian nationality to many people forced to renounce it.

It seems especially Canadian that while we have spent the last decade making the U.S. less and less open, Canada is giving citizenship to thousands of semi-unsuspecting people. They even have a hilariously Canadian video.

What could be better than being Canadian?

Well, less than 48 hours later, a disgruntled Jamaican national hijacked CanJet flight 918, with 182 passengers and crew aboad (all Canadian). He wanted to be dropped in Cuba before the plane went to its final destination - Canada.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper, who happened to be in Jamaica at the time, was awakened in the middle of the night to hear the news. Rude, eh?

Fortunately, everyone was rescued and the hijacker is now in (exceedingly polite) custody.
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Morning News Roundup

• Waterboarding used 266 times on 2 suspects. Who knew Khalid Shaikh Mohammed loved to swim so much? - NY Times
  
• Britain looks for real life "Q" - AP via Fox40
• Boehner discusses farts. GOP has apparently made it to 4th grade - Daily Kos
• Father of Slumdog actress attempts to sell her. Hopefully someone can use the money to help him join the castrati - News of the World
  
• Pot vs. booze debate for 4/20. Respectable online journalism, indeed - Huffington Post
• Disney teaching English to children in China. Andy Mooney, chairman of Disney Consumer Products Worldwide, who put a Mickey Mouse sculpture in the foyer, created diction lessons starring Lilo and Stitch and has named lessons after Buzz Lightyear, noted that, "We never saw this as an effort to teach the Disney brand and Disney characters." - WSJ
• Emma Hendrickson, 100, becomes oldest competitor in U.S. Bowling Congress Women's Championships - ESPN
  

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Time Warner thinks baseball fans are stupid

I attempted to gag myself while listening to the Yankees' epic slaughter yesterday (ed. note: author not pictured). The only good thing to come from the game was another unintentionally hilarious headline: Historic Low for Wang. Apparently all our staff needs is Viagra (but I digress).

During the game, I heard a now-daily ad for Time Warner. The promotion was this: if the Yankees turned a triple play in the game, a lucky fan would win $10,000 and a year of free service.

MLB has averaged a little less than 4 triple plays turned per season amongst all 30 teams over the last decade. Therefore, the odds of the Yankees turning one in any given game is low. At least with the lottery, someone definitely wins, even if the odds of it being you are very low.

Now, one could argue this makes sense for Time Warner, because they get their name out there, the promotion carries very little risk and fans would be happy about this. However, while casual fans might flip back and forth between the TV broadcast, I would think that the radio demographic contains more passionate fans. If you are willing to put on a buzzing AM radio station and hear nothing but a description of the game, you clearly have an interest in it.

Assuming the audience skews towards more passionate/knowledgeable fans, they know that Time Warner is teasing them with this mockery of an offer. Poor move.

This, of course, ignores the often inconsistent and poor quality of Time Warner's service itself. Winning a year of free Time Warner is the rough equivalent of getting a free punch in the face.
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A Friday portmanteau

"If sending explicit messages to your friends is sexting, is sending them to yourself texturbation?"
- Finnegan, 4/16/09

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Swedes take bold steps to tackle pirates

A court in Sweden found that the Pirate Bay site (a large file sharing website) was guilty of promoting copyright violations and sentenced Frederik Neij, Gottfrid Svartholm Warg and Peter Sunde - the founders and one employee - to a year in jail. The founders, all apparently named after pieces of Ikea furniture, vowed to keep the site running.
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Morning News Roundup

• David Brooks complains about Israeli bus drivers: NY Times
• Rasmussen delivers poll results fresh from 1861: Rasmussen Reports
• McDonald's - billions and billions crushed: Chicago Sun Times
• Abandon all hope, traditional marriages everywhere: NY Times
• Fox News' analysis of Anderson Cooper's analysis of...teabagging: Fox News
• Bush Administration discovered new way to bug detainees: Raw Story
• Top 10 videos of reporters getting destroyed (and not by the decline of their industry): Uncoached
• Obama details plans for running nationwide train network. President Clinton immediately offers his support: CNN

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One Moran Helps Another (In Race for Virginia Governor)

Today's NY Times does a thorough job deconstructing the two Morans running around Virginia's political scene.

Some other good aptonyms (not that all politicians are Morans, of course), can be found here
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Jews kvetching about NFL schedule

The Jews Jets have been calling the NFL head office to complain about the 2009 schedule. Two games coincide with Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. For Jewish season ticket holders, this would mean that they would miss 25% of the team's home games (ed. note - equivalent to 1 of the 4 questions).

What Would Brett Favre Do?

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/jets/2009/04/15/2009-04-15_jewish_fans_jolt_jets_nfl.html
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Madden to Retire, Eat

Hall-of-Famer John Madden is set to retire after 30 years in the NFL.

Frank Caliendo's career was unavailable for comment.
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Success by Graph

Courtesy of HeyJennySlater..for those that are more visual learners.

Reminds me of this..the most accurate graph of the early 80's


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Harvey and Greatness Unseen

While reading the news on Sunday, I was struck between similarities between three unconnected things: the Hudson River, the Somali pirating incident, and a less-than-pleasant looking woman in Britain.

When Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger landed Flight 1549 gently in the Hudson River three months ago, the media quickly labeled him a hero, the savior of the passengers, and lavished him with praise. Although he certainly fits the bill, Sully himself refused to accept any credit. "I was just doing my job," he said.

This past week, Captain Richard Phillips, at the helm of the Maersk Line ship that was hijacked, gave himself up rather than let anything happen to his crew. Twice, with guns pointed at him, he dove into the water to escape, and was eventually freed. Again, he was celebrated around the country, and yet his first words were, "I'm just a small part in this. The real heroes of the story are the U.S. military.'"

In both cases, seemingly ordinary people did extraordinary things. Had there not been large media attention around these events, their selflessness would have passed on without a notice but to their family and friends.

In the midst of all this, I saw an article about Britain's Got Talent, a Simon Cowell-produced talent show in England. A 47-ear-old unemployed woman named Susan Boyle had gotten on stage to sing. Needless to say, Susan Boyle is not the most attractive woman on earth. People snickered and laughed as she stood on stage, and Simon, as is his wont, tried to get another bad performance over with.

Susan then stopped, smiled, and began to sing I Dreamed a Dream, which YouTube tells me is from Les Miserables. She brought the house down, moved most of the audience to tears, and was told by all three judges that they have never heard better. The clip is worth watching all the way through (2:52).

These three disparate events all seemed to convey the same thing to me - the triumph of the "ordinary." Three people, who quietly went about their day like anyone else, actually contained tremendous wonder inside of them that was released when the time was right.

I had intended to restart this blog sometime last weekend with a post about this idea, thinking it would be a good way to start writing again. Unfortunately, last night I was hit with a fourth, and tragic example.

Harvey Delaney had passed away.

I met Harvey in 2002, when I got involved in the Oneonta Student Association. Of anyone in the above list, Harvey was most like Susan Boyle. He had a somewhat gruff exterior, and when I was introduced to him, I can unequivocally say that I had the composition of a frightened 6-year-old girl.

Harvey had been advising the Student Association and CUAC (the campus programming board) for decades. He knew everything there was to know about campus events, how SUCO was run and the best places to grab food in Oneonta (ed. note - Ianelli's). He was a fountain of knowledge, and had been honored numerous times by NACA for his lifetime of service.

Harvey and I eventually got to know each other fairly well, and at his urging, I ran for President. He was the one who told me I won (15 minutes late, to drive me crazy), and it was his arms I jumped into when I heard the news.

Over the next several years, I spent almost an hour a day with him. Every single time I went up to his office, students were coming in and out, getting advice from him, getting signatures for forms, and joking around. He was literally the hub for every student activity at SUNY Oneonta.

No eulogy, or blog post, or letter could ever fully capture how many people and how many lives this man impacted. He advised the two largest organizations on campus for years, yet would bark at students who wanted his opinion on clubs, politics, anything - he always wanted us to think for ourselves. He helped grow young adults through the Leadership Institute, which is now 20+ years old. He was a tireless advocate for students. In fact, as a testament to this, after his retirement the College wanted a say in who the SA chose as its advisor, after decades of Harvey's loving wrath.

Harvey counseled me through relationships and breakups, good meetings and bad, 4 years of college and my growth as an adult. It is fitting that from Harvey's driveway, which sat on a hill, you could look out and see all of Otsego County, since he looked out for so many who lived below.

Just a few weeks ago, Harvey joined Facebook. When someone first joins, Facebook asks if you want to suggest any friends for them. Facebook obviously didn't know Harvey very well. Within minutes, his page filled up with well wishes from former student senators, CUAC members, friends, colleagues and family.

It was through Facebook that I learned of his passing. There is never a good time for someone to go, of course, but it was particularly unfortunate that Harvey would be taken when he was with the woman he loved, retired, and finally somewhere warm. It was somewhat unsettling to learn of the loss of someone close through Facebook, of all places, but this turned out to be a double edged sword. In the 24 hours since Harvey passed, hundreds of people have reached out to Mary Jo, the college, his friends, colleagues, and more.

Again, what a testament to the man that after not seeing so many of us for years, that his loss would be so profound for so many.

This is what makes Harvey a hero. He is Sully, he is Captain Phillips, he is Susan Boyle - just without CNN, without fanfare, without pirates. He is just an ordinary man that lived in a little house in a little town. This ordinary man, for far less money than we pay our bankers and our actors, touched the lives, directly or indirectly, of thousands and thousands of people. Whether it was working late to talk to someone who needed, fighting against his own interests to help students, or just taking you out for a beer to relax - he was there for you. Harvey didn't need a galvanizing event, nor did he get any fanfare, because every day that he lived his life as he did was an act of quiet heroism and selflessness.

At the aforementioned Leadership Institute, Harvey loved to bring a friend of his, Nancy Hunter Denney, to speak. She was a huge ball of energy and used to make everyone laugh. This is a photo of her and Harvey together, exactly as I remember him - slightly askew hair, surrounded by people, a genuine smile on his face.

The world lost a giant yesterday.

Harvey Delaney
5/9/41-4/13/09 RIP

UPDATE - HARVEY DELANEY MEMORIAL FUND
A fund has been set up in Harvey's honor by the College. Mary Jo has asked that everyone donate to this in lieu of flowers. In several weeks, she will be deciding how to use this money to best honor Harvey (scholarship, programming, etc.) In the meantime, you can donate in two ways:

ONLINE:
1) Click here: https://secure.imodules.com/s/885/login.aspx?sid=885&gid=1&pgid=359&cid=865
2) Type in your name, email, and donation amount
3) In the "Designations" boxes, type the full amount of your donation in the "Other" box
4) In the final box, type in Delaney Memorial Fund

MAIL:
SUNY Oneonta
308 Netzer Administration Building
Oneonta, NY 13820
Please make checks payable to "SUNY College at Oneonta Foundation"
On the check's memo line, write: Delaney Memorial Fund

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The Blog is Back

Decided to get back into blogging without exclusivity on the Africa trip. I feel like it would be fun to do more writing and a way to share some thoughts without being sucked into the Twitter craze.
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